For instance, Jianying Lu describes listening as more of a function of human habit than a conscious choice (2005). With that being said, it takes effort to become a good listener. There are many internal and external conflicts that help breakdown the flow of the communication process. I personally think most of it has to with education, social status and cultural background or biases. It is sometimes a battle to get past these influences and actually find the true meaning of the message. I especially find it difficult to interpret a message if I am listening to a speaker who appears very different from me, has a foreign accent or who speaks uneducated. I realize now that these biases and preconceived notions I carry, actually prevent me from understanding or interpreting what is being said. It is a very hard habit to break and it takes strong mental conviction to focus on the message and not these other things that nag at me.
After taking the Listening Style Inventory assessment at the end of the article, I found that I am a passive listener. Reading the description of the passive listener was like re-discovering who I am. I realized and agreed that I exhibit these behaviors when participating in the listening process. I get talked “at” and absorb the information without really participating as an equal piece of the communication equation. I do not show much enthusiasm or energy for reciprocating responses and I assume that the weight and responsibility of the communication is upon the sender. The fault is mine, as I am coming to understand now. I have had a tendency to blame communication errors on others instead of myself, which is unacceptable. I think in my work life I tend to tune a lot of things out. I am so saturated by external stimuli that I often feel overwhelmed and I just want to unplug. I sometimes have personal or family problems that interfere with my ability to communicate with customers (especially irate ones) or my boss or co-workers. I think my passive listening behavior has been acquired through a process of exposure to call center environments. Customer service reps are often talked “at” by the customers who voice their problems, concerns, questions, etc. but all directed to the company and not the individual rep. In addition, customer service reps are taught to let go, do not become emotionally involved, let the bad calls wash off of you, move on to the next call with the same bright attitude, keep smiling, don’t become attached and so on and so forth. I have worked the past seven years in call centers. I ask myself, is it any wonder I am a passive listener?
I think technology is great and the advances we have made as a species is absolutely incredible. However, I do not necessarily think it has helped improve communication among people. Yes, it may be easier and more convenient now. We can write emails, chat online, visit blogs, use web cameras and video conferences, and talk on the phone and text message. Yes, we can reach people all over the globe which would have never been possible without these advances in communication technology. However, at what cost and degradation to the message must we endure when we chose to communicate through these methods? Having a relationship with someone through even the best of these technologies is nowhere near the type of relationship or bond that two people can form when they are physically together. There is so much more to communication than just words. There are thoughts, feelings, emotions, all of which are best communicated through body language and subtle cues that come natural to us.
I think for global cultures to successfully communicate, it will take shear desire to truly understand one another as well as a lot of determination and effort. So many people are closed minded and unwilling to put themselves in another’s shoes, or try to see another’s viewpoint. It is sad and shameful that we allow ourselves to shut out those things which could influence us to grow as a human being and as a species.
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